of Apologies

On Saturday I spent some time at a park eating lunch with some people I'm getting to know who happen to be homeless. I'm always impressed at the crowd at this particular park, because everyone is always very polite and appreciative about any food that we bring to share. People help me carry the cooler and the bags of chips and cookies and sandwiches. No one sits around expecting a hand out from the "church people".
On this particular Saturday a young man caught my eye. He was well groomed and looked just looked a little healthier and more vibrant than most of his friends. He looked me straight in the eye and I could tell he was about to tell me something. He told me that he wanted to apologize because he had a sip of beer in front of me as I approached his group. He was upset and remorseful about this, because he felt that it was inappropriate and disrespectful to be drinking alcohol as I was sharing food with people who had none. He then tried to justify the fact that he had spent his money on alcohol. He said they had all pitched in a little money they had to buy some beer to share.
I wonder if my presence truly made him think twice about whether he should be spending his money on beer at all or if he just felt bad about doing it in front of me. I don't know this guy very well and have spent a little more time with his friends than I have with him.
On one hand the discussion reminded me of the thoughts I've been having the past few weeks about the Scripture's emphasis on "orphans and widows"...those who cannot help themselves. I have had conversations with friends lately about what it would look like to focus energy on those who cannot help themselves versus young able bodied men who choose to be homeless and spend their money on more beer.
On the other hand, I was struck by something in the young man's eyes. I believe he truly was sorry. He was ashamed. He wanted to show his appreciation. He wanted to connect with me on some deeper level. He realized how his life looked to someone else, and it bothered him. He was sorry. I guess one question is whether or not he will let that state of being "sorry" lead him to a state of turning from one way to another. I also question what it would look like for someone to help this guy move from living in shame to stepping into grace. What does it look like to be his friend? What does it look like to love someone in the midst of poor choices.