It's hard to change

So for the last few years I've been thinking more and more about wanting to break out of the materialistic, consumeristic American life I have always led. I don't want to be obsessed with getting the new TV or new clothes or a new CD or DVD. It's so easy to buy things for ourselves to make ourselves happy. Shopping can easily become our favorite hobby. For a few months Andrea and I have been working on getting to a point where we can survive on less income and consume less of everything. We've taken some good steps...canceling cable, using coupons at the grocery store, making lunch and dinner at our house instead of going out, drastically slowing down how much clothes we buy...but last night I reminded myself how far I have to go.
I want a Powerbook or ibook. I REALLY want a Powerbook or ibook. Actually, I really do need one as I make a transition to working with ReIMAGINE and spend more time in coffee shops and BART and no longer have an office. But...it's become an obsession. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent on www.Craigslist.com and www.mac.com in the past couple weeks. I think it is safe to say I am now an expert on used and new versions of Powerbooks and ibooks. I've made offers. I've emailed back and forth with people. I call or email my friend Darin a couple times a day for advice. I've read product reviews. Meanwhile my wife and daughter play in the living room while I look at just one more site or check Craigslist one more time. Last night I hit rock bottom. There was a post on Craigslist about a way to get a free ibook. Of course, these are usually bogus, but I just couldn't let it go. I had to try. To make a long story short, I ended up signing up for a 14 day trial of Real Rhapsody and MyDailyDose (vitamins). For MyDailyDose I had to pay 5.95 for my FREE trial of the vitamins that are going to change my life. The website had led me to believe if I signed up for two deals on one page, I could get the free ibook. But then when I clicked to move on, I found out that I had to sign up for 2 offers on 3 successive pages, and the 3rd page consisted of offers costing hundreds of dollars. So I wasted about 3 hours and $5.95 on the dream of getting a free ibook.
If I would have taken 5 seconds to breathe and rest and pray, I probably would have realized that I should have gone out and talked to my wife, who was working on postcards we are sending out about a luncheon to let people know how they can support us and the work with ReIMAGINE.
What did I learn? It's really, really hard to get out of a consumeristic way of living, and even if I truly do need to buy something, that doesn't mean it is okay to become enamored and obsessed with it.